7 Things to Say (and Not Say) to Someone With Misophonia
4 min read
A guide for partners, parents, friends, and anyone who wants to be supportive.
1
Say:"I believe you. I can see this is really hard."
Not:"You're overreacting."
The single most helpful thing you can do is validate their experience. People with misophonia have often spent years being told their reactions aren't real or aren't proportional. Simply believing them can be profoundly healing.
2
Say:"What would help right now? Do you need to step away?"
Not:"Just ignore it."
Offering a way out, without judgement, gives them agency. Telling them to ignore it suggests they haven't tried, when in reality they've probably been trying to ignore it for years. It's like telling someone with a broken arm to ignore the pain.
3
Say:"It's okay to leave the room. I won't take it personally."
Not:"Why does it bother you so much? It's just chewing."
When someone with misophonia leaves a room, they often feel guilty about it. Giving them explicit permission to take space, without making it about you, removes a layer of stress they carry every single day.
4
Say:"I looked into misophonia so I could understand better."
Not:"Everyone has things that annoy them."
Taking the time to learn about their condition shows genuine care. Comparing misophonia to ordinary annoyance minimises a neurological response and makes them feel like they need to justify something they can't control.
5
Say:"Let's figure out what works for both of us."
Not:"You need to get over this."
Misophonia affects relationships, and navigating it together builds trust. Framing it as a shared problem (not their problem) makes all the difference. Telling someone to 'get over' a neurological condition is like asking someone to think away an allergy.
6
Say:"I noticed you seemed tense. Are you okay?"
Not:"You're making everyone uncomfortable."
Quietly checking in shows awareness without drawing attention. Telling them they're making others uncomfortable adds shame on top of an already overwhelming experience, and makes them less likely to ask for help next time.
7
Say:"I'm glad you told me about this."
Not:"That's not a real condition."
It takes courage to tell someone about misophonia. Many people with it have been dismissed, laughed at, or told they're making it up. When someone trusts you enough to share it, honouring that trust is one of the most supportive things you can do.
If you found this helpful, pass it along to someone in your life who could use it. Understanding is the first step toward support.